Was there a reason to be distracted (pissed)?

Was there a reason to be distracted (pissed)?

Busy preparing our third WWW Meeting we´re looking forward already has a double-digit number of participants again. That shows, that the topic is important and what we´re doing is valuable. So thank you for that, for coming and your constant support and contribution to this mission.

This week was a bit freaky, as a lot of us because many of us work in digital and the dmexco happened, the biggest European fair for digital marketing and transformation in marketing and media. But of course, as a lot of change comes out of the big changes in consumer communications, the change to consumer centricity opens there and the whole IT strategy is impacted by marketing and media. So we´re working in the eye of the storm and we change.

The importance of this fair and the link to female leadership is underlined by the attendance of Shery Sandberg there and being there, reading all the posts and the press, it felt a bit like we´re all groupies waiting for a new pop star.

For Lu the dmexco ended with her birthday, so from all of us a big hug and all the best!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

What – besides Sheryl – has that to do with our topic for the 28th?
For me a lot as I was moderating for the first time. No possibility to get used to that, I was ( luckily ) threw on stage and there was only a: ok, just do it! On WWW #3 will talk about how to stay relaxed and centered in times of challenge and possible distraction and well, it is as it is, sometimes you have to walk your talk. Of course, my heart was beating, of course, there were all the self-sabotaging thoughts like „will this be alright“, „what if“ and this bubbling inside your head, the inner voices that tell us and also me that it´s better to stay safe. Fight, flight or freeze.
After a little inner workout with me, I was more or less fine. Ready to lean in and have some fun.

The main moderator announced us, I was the last to enter the stage, this white, shining catwalk full of light so that you cannot see the audience clearly and there it was. The sentence that beside all the normal insecurities hit my nerves, challenging the (digital) world to embrace the power of diversity: … We have a lot of great industry leaders in this round and because diversity is important we also cared about having a woman to on this stage, pls. welcome … .
So an inner discussion raised up in milliseconds: say something – stay quiet and concentrate on your job.

At the end I shut down my „come on stay safe“ – gremlins, saying:  „this is your first time“ „what will the organization think if you take it“ ….. you know what I mean and felt ( not decided ;-)) this is a perfect opportunity to take a stand for competence, yearlong experience, a lot of hard work and being out of comfort zone.

Freedom, Lean In also means to trust your intuition and embrace the possibility of failure. I´m often dealing with me like: „Ok is there a possibility that I or somebody else will die? If not you can ask your inner voices: Ok, maybe consequences can hurt a bit but, what is the 95% bullshit and the 5% truth you´re telling me! Believe me, it works!
And if you have a good network, a great support everything can be worked out!

Why? Because there are others out there you can rely on when things go wrong. There is a lot of power inside us bit also on our network and what we do here is a part of that. I was happy to know that Theresa is somewhere, that Lu is in front of the hall and a lot of friends. Is that childish? Being feared? Absolutely not. Everybody saying that he isn´t feared in new and exposed situations is simply lying.  Why? Because our brain is constructed for fear and something we don´t learn from our parents, in school, on the job is how to deal with it. How did this story end?
I took a deep breath, concentrated on my feet for a second, wiggled my toes, smiles a little bit more and walked a little bit more determined over the catwalk saying: „thank you for the introduction, I don´t think that I´m the „Quotenfrau“, —- uuuuuuh ——- knowing that of course, that´s part of the reason why I was there but ready to take the opportunity.
And all went ok. I survived not unexpectedly but yes, I had respect.

Also appreciated the feedback that can work on my äääähm and ääääh when I´m nervous so I now have a chance to look at this and get better and some other feedback. Lean In, resilience also means to be able to lean in our weaknesses – we´re not worth less because we´re not perfect – knowing that there are so many strengths and nobody has to be great at everything but we´re all in charge of learning and developing, as Theresa said last time „Learning is a strategic skill“.

Afterwards, Shery Sandberg shared her message. A message of leadership in this VUKA World we´re living and working in: volatile, insecure, complex, full of ambiguity – and it´s a skill ( that can develop ) to work like this.
Know your purpose
Build your community
Communicate who you are.

Especially the last point is the challenging one. Our brain is wired for judgment. Thatßs just a survival tool. Find out immediately who´s friend or enemy and as through consciousness and awareness work, we can learn to expand our range of mindfulness and not judging it is absolutely impossible not to do. So we judged the whole day and we have forethoughts and were judged. And as much we´re judging and much do we fear being judged. One main source of stress and fear. What if we could leave the fear of judgment and could leave our own judgment which is the greatest source of insecurity and lack of connection and collaboration, co-creation? What would be different?

So my stress, of course, came from: HOW WILL THEY JUDGE ME? HOW WILL I JUDGE ME? WHAT IF … .
And there has to be a huge distinguishing: when am a holding back because of fear and when am I cringing because there´s a real danger I´ve to deal with ( and we all know there are :-)). Intuition, self-awareness, self-care and fierce courage play a huge role in this complex frame of reaction.

If we’re getting more resilient to judgment, if we understand „taking it personally“ everything gets easier:
Not taking it personally? How does that work?
Knowing that > 90% of people´s behavior is unconscious it becomes easy of letting things go.
If we learn to not take it personally – the moment when I understood that this short sentence wasn´t an attack it was just an actual perspective or a result of circumstances we can act without a fight what is so much more energy saving and helping us to focus on the results not on saving our ego.

So what´s coming up after I told you that I was distracted ( pissed )?
We will have a quick!!! walkthrough and 5 quick fixes, what to do in these situations, including the „why the hell did she wiggle her toes ;-)“ learning something about us, about our brains about the vagus nerve and our nervous system, seeing some pics about our heart rate variability and see what this is but more important: what can and should you do when there are hard things about heard things. No fear: no eso, no blabla, no stupid affirmation stuff.
let´s go through some scientific but practical steps of natural confidence! I´m looking forward seeing you!

Have a great Sunday, #keepmoving, #keepthriving
Kerstin

_____________ IMPORTANT ::::::: NOTES :::::::::::::: REGISTRATION_____________

Location
We will meet at Co-Work & Play, a coworking space founded by some great ladies that are inviting us for a very special price in their lovely loft.

Date:
Thursday – 28th September
19.30 – Presession
19.30 – 22.30h Main Sessions & Networking
Get your seat: Eventbrite

Meeting Hygiene – Quick notes:
Pls. do not register when you know that you only maybe will attend.
It takes away the possibility for others as space is limited ( 30 persons this time)

Pls. give us a quick note if life get´s in your way and cancel your registration
that we can give it away, there are ladies waiting.

Spread the word:
Bring great leading ( self and others ) Ladies with you if you want!

Agenda:
Pre-session
We are still working out as we saw there also a demand for professional group coaching if we start a separate coaching round so let´s give it a try. Be on time there and get a coaching appetizer from the participants that offer coaching. It´s free and maybe we can offer the group coaching also for free or at very low price. So be there on point: 19.00-19.30 to experience „The power of intuition“.

We also want to start a Junior Session especially for women at the beginning of their Leadership ambition and career and are working out to give more insight and support in smaller groups letting this format be a co-creating speaker event and inspiration for all of us on all stages of (Business ) Leadership.

Sessions:
1) I did it: Katja Markert will talk about how to build a magazine and having her own creative business.
2) How to deal yourself in distracting situations – learn about the body-mind connection and stay calm, focused and grounded in business and life!
and

Between that comes the best:
Talking, Networking, Support and Co-Creation

Catering & Sponsors:
Wine will this time be delivered by a kind sponsor that saw us on FB, let´s take this 🙂 and if you want to bring something to eat pls. feel free and give us a short hint. We will try to keep this event free of charge although the hardest thing is always to find a space. We have to charge a little bit this time ( approx. 170 Euro ) so if you will donate something pls. feel free, we will have a box for that. If there is something left over we keep it for further costs and maybe once spend it on a huge party :-)!

Some people also give us things as a gift to the community, as said, last time I forgot,
we´ll bring you a secret weapon for some delicate situations for us: www.genlays.de

Use it:
Don´t forget to bring your business cards, as usual, offer what you have in terms of business and as a person and appreciate the insights of all these amazing women!

We hope we see us in a few days! Until that, lead yourself and others!

P.S.: We´re no native speakers, so pls. excuse misspellings and unprecuse grammar 🙂 – nobody´s perfect.

Leave a Comment